“The problem was that cats are not especially trainable,” she writes. In a heavily redacted memo, the CIA concluded: “Our final examination of trained cats…convinced us that the program would not lend itself in a practical sense to our highly specialized needs.”
Still, this does not mean the U.S. government’s days of animal-engineering were over. In 2006, the Pentagon’s Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, or DARPA, asked scientists to create cyborg insects (yes, insects are animals).
With DARPA’s support, researchers at the University of California Berkeley successfully created a cyborg beetle whose movements they could remotely control. They reported their results in Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience in October 2009.
“Berkeley scientists appear to have demonstrated an impressive degree of control over their insect’s flight; they report being able to use an implant for neural stimulation of the beetle’s brain to start, stop, and control the insect in flight,” reported Wired the month these findings came out. “They could even command turns by stimulating the basalar muscles.”
The idea of secret spy bugs may sound a little terrifying, especially for anyone who saw the robot bees episode of Black Mirror (on a related note, Walmart filed a patent for robo bees this spring). But rest assured that it’s probably still safe to have private conversations around cats. Their notoriously smug, indifferent attitudes will likely keep protecting them from CIA conscription.